So, here we are one month into the “two kid” adventure. How about a report? Plus, just for a bonus, let’s have everyone in the house start to get sick. Stacey, you first! (see photo above).

In a larger sense, things are great. Healthy mom and baby, no scary weirdness showed up unexpectedly after the birth. Oliver is gaining weight, Stacey is rapidly losing it. We’re slowly learning a few (very few) tricks as far as getting Oliver to sleep. Jack is being as good about the whole thing as you could expect a toddler to be. Griffen hasn’t packed up and tried to move to the Watrus’s yet. And my work hasn’t fired me for my random unpredictable schedule and work completion.

However, I can’t remember a time when I have been as exhausted and cranky as I have been for the past month. Seriously, I must seem like a terrible person to all I come in contact with. My patience is gone, my brain is dead, my back feels like a knife is sticking out of it from all the Ergo wearing and baby walking/jiggling, and I’ve been actively advertising on craigslist for gypsies who buy annoying toddlers. It’s a real good thing that I don’t get to leave my house much and have to interact with most people via the interweb. At least then I can try to moderate my wild mood swings somewhat before I say “Hell no you can’t have your username changed to ‘NIKONluvr341′! What the fuck kind of website do you think this is asshat? Take your stupid emoticons and go back to YahooAnswers.” Sadly however, the time delay of internet communication doesn’t help all that much and I very likely have left many people wondering “what’s up his ass” recently.

At least we’ve got a little help around, Stacey’s parents and Mothersroot have been wonderful about helping us whenever we ask. But I’m constantly worried that I’m being snarky with them just because I was up from the hours or 1-5:00am the night before and am still trying to calm a screaming child at lunchtime. Can any of you imagine that I, Josh Root, would ever be complaining under my breath about people being too loud? I’m sure this is karma from every classroom that has been unlucky enough to host me coming back to bite me in the ass.

But I do my best. And really, every week has been an improvement over the week before. Honest. I’m just amazed at how much you really do forget about having an infant. It’s one of those things people tell you you will forget and you say to yourself “Yeah right. YOU might have forgotten, but I’m going to burn this crap into my brain tissue with a soldering iron.” Which, of course, you don’t. Leaving you the glorious surprise of being reminded when kid #2 comes waltzing into your life.

But like I said, in a larger sense, things are great. It’s just the smaller aspects where they fall apart every 45 minutes or so.